Hi Assalammualaikum!
Masih ada ke yang follow blog ni? Kalau ada, alhamdulillah terima kasih. Kalau takde, takpe. I masih ada passion nak menulis kat sini seakan luahan hati lah. Ada benda nk share, nak story.. I simpan sini. Mana tau boleh jadi pedoman or benefit kat org lain.
Just a little update... I changed my career. No longer content creator. I thought I could survive lah kononnya tapi tak boleh go jauh lagi. Bukan manja or mengada, tp I seriously tak boleh hidup normal kalau I teruskan. Yang pernah rasa akan faham. Dulu I pun tak faham kenapa kwn I stop designing coz she’s super talented but now I get it. Atm, I'm working dlm bahagian e-commerce. Lari bidang sikit lah tapi so far boleh survive and adapt lagi. Masih mampu bertahan.
A quick update... last year was so hard for me. I struggle over gila just to feel happy and jalani kehidupan seharian. i'm sure everyone else pun lalui benda yg sama with the pandemic and wfh. It was so, so freaking hard. Sampai satu tahap, I rasa mcm tak nak teruskan hidup. I takut nak hidup. Takut nak hadap orang. Takut dgn diri sendiri. That was really the lowest point of me - which I never expect. I had experience before rasa jatuh terduduk - but this time, another kind of pain. I betul2 lose control and bila teringat sampai skrg dada rasa sesak and sedih. I lawan semua tu sorang2 sbb I tak tahu nak mntk tolong siapa. I bukan jenis bercerita dgn orang and I tahu tak semua faham dan percaya because of my personality.
Kalau kenal I personally, I takde lah happy go lucky all the time. I seorang yg pendiam dan sangat2 mementingkan org lain. I simpan apa I rasa. I tak nak org tahu sbb I rasa mcm org x expect benda tu from me. Tgh taip ni pun rasa sakit kt dada and berdebar sbb benda ni trigger my anxiety. Tapi I nak bagitau yg you're not alone. Kalau rasa mcm yg I cerita ni, seek for help! Please jangan pendam sorang diri and expect it's gonna be okay. IT IS NOT. You kena lawan rasa takut tu and go for a therapy or professional help. Mental health is no joke and whatever you feel is valid.
Adulting is hard. Adulting is super tired. Adulting is no fun.
Ada masa fun but when you're getting older, the pressure is real. Terasa sakit dan penat nak hadap hari mendatang. Nak bangun pergi kerja pun rasa berat. It's no joke. Rindu sangat zaman belajar dulu. Time tu tak fikir hidup sgt. Just nak enjoy and get that ijazah. Even during master pun I rasa happy and fun. Belajar is fun. Kalau ada rezeki or peluang utk sambung belajar, just go. Majikan or orang lain might not pandang your sijil because experience is preferable but just go. I tak menyesal sambung even kerja skrg biasa2 je but I rasa puas. I proved myself.
